


What Love Really Is

by DropsOfStars



Series: Season 14 Inspired [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Dean was not expecting that, Episode: s14e06 Optimism, Jack Kline & Dean Winchester Bonding, Jack Kline Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Season/Series 14, Season/Series 14 Spoilers, Shocked Dean Winchester, i tweaked the end conversation a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 09:17:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16637153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DropsOfStars/pseuds/DropsOfStars
Summary: "He couldn’t help that his mind immediately went to Cas when love was mentioned; it had been happening a lot more since he got back to the bunker, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Sure, he had thought about Cas in a romantic way before, having wanted to kiss him and feel his beard rub against Dean’s soft cheeks after he’d found him in Purgatory, but he’d quickly shoved that thought into the corner of his mind. And, yeah, he may have contemplated kissing the watery smile off Cas’ face when he saw Dean was alive after Michael left, but, again, that thought was pushed away. There had always been that curious part inside Dean that wondered what it’d be like to be with Cas, but he knew Cas didn’t feel that kind of love towards him; he only felt platonic, familial love towards Dean, and he’d have to get used to that."Where Dean and Jack bond over the kitchen table after returning from their exhausting hunt, and Jack asks about love.





	What Love Really Is

**Author's Note:**

> Long time no see! I haven't posted in a long time, and I apologize if there are any parts of this that don't make sense or anything like that; I don't have a beta to read my stuff over, but I'd **love** to have one if anyone is up to the task.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> (thank you to [WaywardAF67](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaywardAF67/pseuds/WaywardAF67) for catching an error I missed!)

“And… that’s love?” He could hear the underlying tone in Jack’s voice, masked by the genuine curiosity that he has for what love is, and it makes his surefire demeanor slip into a daze.

He couldn’t help that his mind immediately went to Cas when love was mentioned; it had been happening a lot more since he got back to the bunker, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Sure, he had thought about Cas in a romantic way before, having wanted to kiss him and feel his beard rub against Dean’s soft cheeks after he’d found him in Purgatory, but he’d quickly shoved that thought into the corner of his mind. And, yeah, he may have contemplated kissing the watery smile off Cas’ face when he saw Dean was alive after Michael left, but, again, that thought was pushed away. There had always been that curious part inside Dean that wondered what it’d be like to be with Cas, but he knew Cas didn’t feel that kind of love towards him; he only felt platonic, familial love towards Dean, and he’d have to get used to that.

“Actually,” he started, having pondered Jack’s question, “love can be crazier than that.” Everything that had happened between him and Cas over the past 10 years -- Cas rebelling, falling, and dying _all for him_ \-- made it’s way to his conscience, but he didn’t let that affect his expression. It was a lot to be reminded of, especially all-of-the-sudden, but he couldn’t let that show in front of Jack, though the boy’s own expression screamed understanding as if he knew what Dean was thinking about. He quickly finished his thought.

“And it may get crazier with Harper still out there, but uh…” he took a breath to quiet his thoughts and raised his glass to Jack. “You did good, kid.” Pressing his glass to his lips, Dean took a long, slow sip, the alcohol tingling his throat and grounding him. Jack leaned over his mug, a self-satisfied expression on his face, and looked like he was waiting for Dean to say more.

“And?” Jack asked him, the smugness being replaced by something softer that Dean couldn’t quite place. He wasn’t quite sure what Jack was getting at, but he knew that he probably wasn’t going to like it.

“And what?” his voice coming out more annoyed than curious, making him hold back a wince when Jack tensed and leaned away from him, his soft expression now nervous. He’d been working on being less harsh and abrupt with Jack since he’d gotten back, today’s hunt had given him the chance to do so, but now he was just fucking it up like he usually did. Sighing, he pursed his lips and ducked his head, only lifting it after he heard Jack push his tea away from him.

“I’m sorry, Jack,” he said, running a hand over his face. “I didn’t mean to snap. It’s just-” he paused to gesture towards his head, “a lot of stuff is running around in there.” Seeming to understand what Dean meant, Jack nodded his head, his brow furrowing like it always did when he was thinking. It reminded him of whenever Cas was trying to figure something out and his face would contort with confusion, his head tilting to the side like a confused puppy. He used to think it made Cas look constipated, but, after years of seeing it constantly, he thought of it as something endearing that Cas did. He found that a lot of the things that Cas did nowadays were endearing, like how he’d fold his trenchcoat neatly and place it on a chair whenever he’d take it off, but he’d never admit that aloud.

“And what about with Cas?” the softness in Jack’s voice only heightened the full body shock that Dean was feeling from his question. Part of him wanted to act confused and brush off his words, but the other part of him dying for attention screamed Dean’s feelings back at him with more fervor than it ever had; he also couldn’t cover up the genuine shock on his face, so there was no point in lying now that Jack had seen such a raw reaction from him.

“With Cas?” his voice small and vulnerable, half expecting Jack to become frustrated over Dean’s confusion. He just needed to know if _that_ is what he was insinuating before he decided whether or not he was going to bare his heart and soul to the boy in front of him. Instead of becoming frustrated, Jack’s expression softened, and Dean recognized it as a look he frequently saw on Sam’s own face. He was _sympathetic_.

“Is it crazy like that with Cas?” A small part of Dean saw that coming, knew that Jack had meant that, but it didn’t stop his breath from hitching in his throat, heart pounding against his ribs. This was it. He could just let it all out at once and then never talk about it again. Like a cleanse. Yeah, that sounded better than having to talk about it with Sam, maybe even _Cas_. He repressed a shudder at that thought and let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, taking another sip from his cup.

“Yeah, it is, for me at least,” he said, looking up to meet Jack’s eyes. “I mean, it’s not mutual, I don’t expect it to ever get past familial love for him, but I do.” He finished the drink he had left and grabbed the bottle to pour himself another glass -- he figured he might as well if he was going to make it through all of the questions Jack definitely had.

The smile he was met with was entirely unexpected.

“What is it like?” Jack was still smiling softly at Dean, and he was leaning over his tea again, ever eager to learn whenever the opportunity presented itself. He wasn’t sure how to answer Jack, the multitude of feelings he was experiencing overwhelming him, so he looked down at the glass cupped in his hands.

“It’s like…” he paused, taking a shaky breath, “whenever he’s around, I feel full -- like, bad things will always happen, of course, but we’ll deal with it _together_ \-- and that… it scares me.” He felt as if a weight was lifted from his heart, having finally confessed that deep-rooted fear he’s had for years now. Even though he’d wanted to just let it all out and then never address it again, he knew that Jack wouldn’t let that happen; he would always have that look on his face that screams “ _It makes me happy when you’re happy with him_ ,” and Dean wasn’t sure how he’d ever be able to look at Cas after this without thinking of this moment with Jack.

When he looked up, expecting to see that look on Jack’s face, Jack wasn’t looking at him, which meant-

 _Oh fuck_.

Dean held his breath as he turned around in his seat, the fight-or-flight part of his body telling him to get out of there _immediately_ , and didn’t look at the entrance to the kitchen until he saw dress shoe clad feet take the step down. His eyes snapped up to meet the gaze of Cas, his eyes sparkling with an emotion that Dean recognized from many times before. Cas slowly made his way to Jack’s side of the table, placing a hand on his shoulder, and watched as Jack left the kitchen. Of course, Dean didn’t notice Jack leaving -- not immediately, at least. He was to busy watching the way Cas’ hair looked in the kitchen light, unruly yet tamed, and how Cas’ eyes were so startlingly filled with _love_.

“Hello, Dean,” his gravelly voice rumbled Dean out of his mind and into the present, where Cas was sitting across from him, his hands laced together on top of the table. Dean’s hands twitched around his glass, wanting to reach out and hold Cas’ hand and never let go, but he contained his urge, clearing his throat and looking down at his hands.

“Hey, Cas,” he started, rubbing a hand on his neck nervously, “How much did you uh… what did you hear?” He jumped slightly when he felt a soft hand on his own, not expecting it, but he reeled his panic back when he felt Cas’ thumb rub his hand soothingly. When he met Cas’ eyes this time, he was met with a soft smile.

“I heard enough,” he said, and Dean turned his hand on the table just enough to grasp Cas’ hand in his own. Its warm presence was welcomed, and Dean returned Cas’ smile. Even though his heart felt like it was going to burst, his body felt warm, the skin that touched Cas tingling. He felt _content_.

“Good.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably riddled with mistakes and repetition, but I just _had_ to get this out of my system ~~(just be glad that this wasn't titled "What Is Love?" because I seriously contemplated it for like 5 minutes)~~.
> 
> Kudos and comments are always welcomed and appreciated :)


End file.
